


The Murder Mystery

by Natasja



Series: Tumblr and NaNoWriMo prompts [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Attempted Murder, Authors, Crime Scenes, F/M, Gen, It's surprisingly easy to mistake the two..., Mistaken Identity, Murder Mystery, Serial Killers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-27 14:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16704640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natasja/pseuds/Natasja
Summary: Ramona and Josh had severe reservations about a blind date based on internet search history.As it turns out, google searches by writers and serial killers are surprisingly similar.Investigating a string of murders that are surprisingly similar to the latest Crime bestseller, the local Police force certainly think so...





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aelphaba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelphaba/gifts).



Ramona really, really hated her family’s insistence on setting her up on blind dates. She found relationships so much easier when she was writing them, and could actually make sense of both party’s actions and motivations. Also, with her characters, she didn’t have to deal with complaints that she made no sense and was a ‘creepy wierdo’.

This time, Ramona’s sister had bribed her with the promised loan of her kitchen next time Ramona needed to cook in bulk, and the assurance that this dating site found matches based on search history and common interests. That, at least, made her morbidly curious about the person she would be meeting. At worst, they could at least talk about interesting topics until Ramona’s dating obligations were fulfilled.

Ramona was a writer; specifically a crime and thriller writer. ‘Interesting’ was the nicest possible way to describe her search history. ‘Creepy’ and ‘potentially criminal’ were far more common terms. That the dating site had actually found someone to match her up with was kind of impressive.

* * *

Josh felt kind of guilty going on a blind date, with a person who might turn out to be genuinely nice. He hadn’t had much luck with blind dates in the past, since most of them found him off-putting or boring, and they never seemed to have anything in common.

He never killed them, since they never treated him badly enough to deserve it, but it got depressing after a while. He hoped that a dating site that matched people based on search history and common interests might turn up someone who would at least be able to carry on an interesting conversation.

Josh was a serial killer, targeting people who deserved it; Mafia Bosses, CEOs who exploited their workers and used questionable business practices, politicians who allowed themselves to be bought by vested interests... People the world was honestly better off without. He was doing a public service, really, albeit one that would probably get him arrested if anyone found out. Then again, sit-ins in a segregated bar used to be grounds for arrest and imprisonment, too, so clearly there was a sliding scale for illegality.

Well, perhaps the date would go well, and perhaps it wouldn’t. Perhaps he would even find out about the shitty ex- who treated them horribly enough to warrant being Josh’s next victim.

* * *

The dating site also set up a convenient meeting place for the date, in this case a quiet coffee house in the BoHo part of town. Ramona got there early, found the table booked in their name - apparently her date was a guy called Josh - and pulled out her notebook. She had fifteen minutes, possibly even more if her date shared the previous one’s tardiness, so she might as well get some writing done.

Besides, sometimes it scored her a free drink, if the owner believed in supporting independent artists.

Lost in her work, she jumped a little, pen skittering across the page, when a voice like hot chocolate came from beside her, “Sorry to interrupt, are you Ramona?”

She looked up, and then up some more. The man who interrupted her was tall, with lean but defined arm muscles, mostly revealed by the short-sleeved button-down he wore. His jeans weren’t so tight to be able to tell if his legs matched, but Ramona was willing to make an educated guess. Well, he would make a nice character description for her next male lead, even if he turned out to be an internet troll living in his mother’s basement. “Yes, hi. You’re Josh?”

His smile was as nice to look at as the rest of him. “Yes, hi. Sorry, I didn’t think I was running late.”

Ramona shook her head, “Oh, no, I was early. There turned out to be less traffic than I thought, so I had time to kill.”

Josh sat down across from her, and earned instant points by not trying to play footsie. “What are you working on, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Well, at least they could get the awkward out of the way early. “I’m a crime fiction writer. This will hopefully become the outline for my next book.”

There was a gleam of interest in his eye, which earned him even more points, upgrading Josh to ‘text and thank for a nice date’ status. “What’s it about.”

* * *

Josh wasn’t sure what falling in love was supposed to feel like, but he was pretty sure that it felt like this.

Ramona’s detailed descriptions of the detective who kept barely missing the killer, the race against time, the anticipation of the victims who knew that they were going to be next... he took back evey bad thing he had ever said about dating sites. This one had matched him up with the most perfect woman on the face of the planet. A first date was probably too soon to start planning a life together, wasn’t it? Maybe an exception could be made?

Ramona paused for breath, and he took the opportunity to contribute, so she would know that he was actually listening, rather than faking it. He didn’t want to mess this up. “What’s the villain’s motivation? Like, subconcious trauma, skewed morality but wants to make the world better, or just in it for the adreniline rush.”

The way her face lit up took Josh’s breath away, and she gestured to her notebook. “I don’t mean to be rude, but do you mind if I write this down?”

She could ask him to sit in an abandoned car for hours, and he would probably agree at this point. “Oh, go ahead.”

Josh waited a few minutes, before he dared to interrupt. “Out of curiosity, how would you kill someone and make it look accidental?”

Ramona barely looked up, her distracted tone comparable to the most beautiful music he had ever heard. “Air shot between the toes. Makes it look like a heart attack.”

Josh swallowed hard, pushing down a surge of arousal. Oh, yes, he was in love.

* * *

Ramona was plesantly surprised by how well the date was going.

Josh hadn’t once mocked her, and seemed genuinely interested in everything she had to say. He hadn’t even complained or become offended when she pulled out her notebook to start scribbling, but casually pulled a book out of his backpack, sipping coffee while he waited for her to finish. Looking at the title, Ramona recognised the book as one with an author who actually did their research. “Hey, do you know how long it would take someone to die from a stab to the gut?”

Immediatly, she winced, hoping that she hadn’t just committed some weird and unintentional faux pas. He didn’t get up and run out of the cafe, which was something, but his eyes did darken slightly. Ramona didn’t think it was with anger, though, and he tilted his head to the side, thinking. “Two minutes to half an hour, it depends on a variety of factors.”

Was a first date too early to start thinking abut wedding rings? Ramona thought that the answer was probably ‘yes - way too fast’.

A pity, that; a gold and platinum ring, with an inlaid rubt of two, would look amazing on him.

* * *

Josh worked as a Butcher’s assistant, but he always made sure to shower and change before he came home.

They had both received some very askance looks from family members after moving in together after only a few months, but they didn’t care. Ramona didn’t freak out when ther was the occasional bloodstain to be washed out of his clothing, and he thought it was adorable when she bought her notebook to the table, writing between bites.

This one was new, Ramona having just finished filling up her old one. She looked up from her writing as Josh finished his coffee. “Babe, I’m not sure if this murder scene I’m writing is realistic enough. Can you look it over and tell me?”

Josh could do one better than that; he could actually test it out. “Mind if I take it to work with me and read it over? I’ll tell you when I get home tonight.”

Ramona smiled happily at him. “Sure. I should probably get my old notebook transcribed onto my computer, anyway.”

Josh kissed her on the cheek on his way out the door. “I might be a bit late coming home, one of the other staff wasn’t feeling well yesterday, and I might need to cover. I’ll be home in time for dinner, promise.”

Ramona nodded and waved goodbye, already searching for her charger. She’d probably be spending the day at her favourite cafe, staffed with people who didn’t care how long she took up a table, so long as she kept buying drinks and gave the employees something do during the lull period. Josh had already decided that he would probably never need to visit any of them.

On the other hand, there was a customer who had taken to making one of the trainee’s life difficult; complaining about everything and threatening to call the immigration police or local law enforcement. Josh seriously doubed that anyone would actually miss him.

* * *

 

He didn’t manage to completely wash away the smell of blood before he got home - he didn’t want to be late, not after promising Ramona that he would be on time for dinner. She didn’t seem to mind as he handed back her new notebook. “It works perfectly, babe, you’re doing an amazing job.”

Ramona beamed, putting the finishing touches on the pasta dish she was making. He knew for a fact that she threw it together in half an hour, but that wasn’t important. “Oh, a co-worker read it over my shoulder and asked if you were re-writing Sweeny Todd or something. I think that’s the only near-horror thing he’s ever looked at, honestly.”

Ramona huffed. “Not hardly, Sweeny was an idiot, and Mrs Lovett’s pies shouldn’t have sold half so well. Adult meat is mostly muscle; cooking it in a pie would make it far too tough and gamey. They would have done better to go for foundling babies. Fatty meats are far more tender.”

Josh wrapped his arms around her. “Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?”

 

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Police have serious concerns about the latest Crime Bestseller...

This work has now been published, so while I will leave a teaser up on AO3, the completed story can be found [Here](https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B07KX51L17/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1543349362&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Murder+Mystery+natasja).

Enjoy!


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